absent

hee...not as i planned, hari ni ku inda skulah. haha.

ahir ku bangun wahh ;'( i forgot to set my alarm last night, i was fall asleep.

iatah aku kna bangunkan kul5.20, for me its ahir sudah. homework lagi blum buat. huahuahuahua.

so, lastminute decision... "Ma, Alai inda skulah.. "

haha. and my mom pun ckp, ok..

so, sambung tdur lerr.

hehehe

ne, aku dalam bilik my sis. nadakan dibuat...

krgtah tu homework atu. hehe.

xoxo,HANIE

here i am,onel. ;p

huarghhh...mengantuk eh...pukul berapa ni??12:05pm??
okay, not to waste any precious time, here it goes..today's story.

basically, hari ni suppose to be BLOODY monday, but since everything went smooth,so its a...should i say... 'wonderful' monday?? hahaha
aku bangun kul 5, mandi kul510, kuar jamban kul530.hehe
and so, sembahyang,siap2 and off i go...ke sekulah ku, PTEB.
uhhh...boring sudahku with the school. nada siuk.
tapi its ok lah, next year pindah sekulah baru...ampir lagi, dapat ahir datang..
yea..yea..!!

after school..
apa ku buat?umm..balik rumah, tukar baju, menunaikan rukun islam yang pertama, then naik, masuk bilik, susun bantal, and before tu view friendster, check message and ceta-ceta jap arah msn baru tidur.
after school ,it's a MUST to take a nap (atleast) or tidur sepanjang petang. haha. ngaleh kaliah.
okay, aku bangun kul5ptg. i was in a rush,since my aunt on the way sudah kan fetch me. coz today aku jaga nini.
yata aku mandi, masih lagi ada shampoo arah my hair masa karingkan rambut. huhu. biar tia, keadaan memaksa. ahhahah

4hours aku duduk2, jaga nini, di klinki kiarong, aku just watch tv, siaran Brunei saja ada, but ALHAMDULILLAH jua daripada nadakan.
aku liat this tv series, HEROES-2. Aku suka, Gabriel Gray (Sylar) - ZACHARY QUINTO. Not just badannya lawa, tapi structure mukanya, skin tonenya, eyy...he's my type!
hehehehe. nanti ku simpan a bunch of gambarnya sini ahh...hehe.

okay so, now. i'm stuck dapan laptop ni, typing...untuk hidangan para pembaca blogku. haha.
i got lots hw ni kan d antar esok, sociology, english and yea, hang tuah correction.
honestly, i'm not good ni Hikayat Hang Tuah a, i don't really know how to answer the question. my teacher selalu cakap, "JAWAP MENGIKUT KEHENDAK SOALAN"
aiyooo...if a personal tutor bisai ni, yang handsome lah *blushing* haha

review untuk esok,
- English di class
- Sociology... i thibk di Computer Lab kali.
- Geography; Miss Lim kan explain apa yang kami salim tadi. brapa page tu, 3 kah??
- Bhs Melayu, kami main scrabble ad not to forget, submit HT corrections.
**esok balik skolah pukul12. PS ptg.


gtg now, aher dah. kan view fs lagi kajap ni. hehe.
thanks, hanie

WEDDING PLAN (dari si fish)

1. How old are you?

18

2. Are you single?

yup. baru putus, 9months ago. GILA

3. In what age, do you think you'll get married?

late 20s - early30s,

4. Do you think you'll be marrying the person you are with right now

hoi, indakan aku kawin sorang kali. haha

5. If not, who do you want to marry?

sapa saja yang sudi. huahuahua

6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding or the traditional wedding?

i want 'jack&sally' type of wedd. haha nada wah,i guess i'll take both. buat dua majlis ler.

7. Your ideal motif?

masuk syurga - happy family with lots of kids. 20, 30, 40, carry on saja. asal tahan. haha

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?

aku...mau...underwater adakah?haha. for this,i'll let my husband yang pilih our romance destination. hehe

9. How many guests do you think you'll invite?

ikut budget..kalau nada kraja, nada duit, pgl khadi & saksi2 saja. kahwin secret ler hehe

10. Do you want an extravagant wedding or simple wedding?

since wedding ni once in a life (hope so) so, i'll take the extravagant one baby.

11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you'd make up on your own?

i'll conserve the traditional vows but mix it up with my own idea wedd.

12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?

ikut tinggi rumah. haha

13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or at a simple place?

dalam kapal, round kg.Ayer.. hehe romantic ee

14. When do you want to get married, evening or morning?

subuh, kalau dapat.

15. You'd rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?

alaa sudah jua gtau tadi, dalam boat. outdorr ler.

16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom?

semestinya. he's my raja kaliah. hero always datang lambat but mesti inda dapat dilupakan. ehem..

17. Name the song /tune you'd like played at your wedding?

the oldies song i guess...and yg nyaman didngr like eardrum pun tetidur.

18. Do you want a solemn ceremony or light one?

solemn one.

19. What age do you want to get married?

see ans for question no. 3, thank you.

20. Describe your ideal husband/wife:

responsible, ada bright future, baik arah familynya, always there when i was down, his 'look' blakang kira, yg penting he's my soulmate and my destiny.

21. Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon & fork/knife?

depends on my budget.

22. Champagne or red wine?

Air zam-zam

23. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding? days after our wedd, rehat2 dulu.. SABAR...

24. Money or household items? kalau aku banyak duit, household items saja and if not, MONEY comes first. ;D

25. Who will pay for the bills?

Husband & his family collaboration with Me & my family.haha

26. Are you ready for married life?

If ada duit, bila-bila masa saja ready eh. haha

27. Do you think you will still be a virgin until you get married?

yea, mesti la. husband mesti marah tu if inda. kan,husband...husband pun mesti virgin jua.

28. Will you always be true to your husband/wife?

depends. sayang husband.

29. A new house for a newly or an old one?

ni, biar my husband yang tentukan. hehe

30. Will you celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding or diamond wedding?

diamond la beb.

31. What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?

the malay-tradition one.

32. Will you record your honeymoon in a cd or dvd?` which part of honeymoon are you referring to?

record?if terecord jua tu hehe. ummm...semua. if yang private, husband & i share among us saja. hehe. *malu*

33. Whose wedding plans would you like to know next? Choose 5 of your friends

um, anyone will do.

so-called "FUN" at language lab

hari ni nada siuk lah, except for PS, Lunch & English haha.

the fun of big-two (tho' chance tipis to win, kalah saja)

scrabbling thing arah language lab (everyone gone wild 'duhh')

Language lab, as usual.. if ada si Man, syidah & meza, semua dorang ni memanat. tapi siuk lah..

Below, scrable yang sepatutnya kami main but syidah ckp buat saja nama tani & gambar. so, this is it. kinda cute..hehe (garu-garu kepala^,^nama si Mimi missing ni!!!)

hahaha, there they are + me, aku macam ambuk lah kan sana. haha. si Mimi inda mau gila pasal ia MP, takut arah cigu.. huhu

ni aku sampat pose lah untuk blog ku yang boring ni, haha. Aku with Sai, a friend of mine.

Meza & Ezyan. Gambar curi-curi...


Syidah, bilbil's gurlfie...

Manisa & Mimi...

aku baru jua kenal Mimi and Sai, after kami combine class. the students who qualified to enter gp went arah gp class, and the remaining tinggal with us. Iatah start that day, aku baru kenal with Mimi + Sai... and others...

Having lots of friends can slightly kill my loneliness...hehe

aku sayang dorang, they're dreadfully COOL!!!

so 'mati'...

sorry for the unrecent updated narration from me. :)
i was busy sleeping and having some peaceful rest after somehow my cousins had completely packed up their belongings,'BALIK KAMPUNG'. Hoping they will be back NOT so soon.

I hate last night. My lovely mom had lost her mind when she saw & smell the scent of 'taie kucing' under the baju-baju which it was hers.
I was surprise when mama cakap 'mati tah kamu!' and yeah,i cried. My mom had also gone mad. Mama tendang-tendang gapil,junior & baby. Marah bnr mama.. So, what i did was, aku ambil dorang & simpan dorang di luar. ='(
mama jahat dimalam..

Now,i'm at school. Buat apa?Tunggu masa untuk study..Duduk2,buang masa..
Today's saturday,the 15th.
Looking forward for something that'll lighten up my saturday..

i guess A-level exams abis sudah kali coz the road was ok,inda jammed..Canteen area pun lapang..

xoxo,Hanie.

boring

today's sunday. (09th nOV.2008)

mcam last sunday jua, dok rumah saja. tidor makan tidor makan, surf internet, view fs, balas mesej+comments+view fs urang, main sama kucing.
hahaha...like apakan, have u seen anything 'STUDY' ku type sana?
tinggal lah tu buku ku dalam beg, hehe.
homeworks pun nada... (as far as i could remember)
kan revise, hey its kan cuti kaliah..save it for next year saja.huhu

EMM...Boring la life ku. nothing's hapenning. to enjoy pun still got problems to be consider.
these massive problems tiring me. banar...
aku muda masih, still young bah to have such problems.

this is my life,boring,yet i still have to carry on.
gotta keep on movin on.
even if you fall, don't let go.
huhhh...

ttfn=tata for now

My Future... (satu harapan?)

My dream car... honda civic type-r (dapatkah inda jua ni nanti?)

my dream house...ni rumah tiger woods, tapi indalah exactly this rumah yang ku mau...
aku mau rumah ku nanti, ada swimming pool hehe.


well, ni mesti setiap orang mau, "kahwin" hehe. aku..nanti lah, kalau ada jodoh,kahwin lah ku tu..
my wedding theme; grey. haha
awal ku plan ah..its because my sisiter's going to have her wedding bah..so apa salahnya, if aku jua angan-angan kan..hehe



A loving Father untuk anakku...A Loving Husband... Responsible+caring+leadership talent+respectful are the main criteria of a guy that i'm looking for...
good in bed+charming...(hehe, better save it till kahwin saja.)
everyone is good in bed bah haha.

i wanna have your babies...our babies...

=)

Congratulations,Ma...

okay, malam ni kami adakan surprise party for my mum..well inda pulang 'party'. ordinary party saja, bagi cake, make some wishes and bagi present.
ni aku excited sangatlah haha. mama pun hairan why aku senyum-senyum. hehe..

ni lah cake nya... inda berapa clear coz it's surprise kan..kami semua pun inda kan merancang kan buat this party..

it says "Congratulations, Ma. We love You. You're 1 in a million"
Mama masa tu terharu, this included me. I'm the one yang pigang the cake, kajar2 wah.
we love you, ma...umm cakenya, cake ice-cream..chocolate..

my sister, c adie..it was her idea...bagi surprise arah mama..and her boyfriend, c zul.(should i say, ABG Zul? haha)

ni lah our new member in the house, my sister's boyfriend... he's always there for us... THANKS SO MUCH...

MY adek, c ameng. hee... kami semua hancur..maklum, surprise kan..so, kami buat macam nada lah.. hehe

my broter, the only brother... beloved brother...hehe awal2 my brother inda pakai baju ni, sekali bgamber tu, laju2 ia pakai baju hehe

last but not least, aku..hehe. cali ehh..baru after mandi wah iatah kusut tu ahh..malu nyerr..huhu

***my 1st sister & tunangnya nada, coz dorang shopping**

This party is nothing compare to what mama sacrifices for us. kami bagi card, and dalam tu kami selitkan beberapa kata-kata semangat.Party ni dibuat pasal Mama dapat degree,specialist in Childhood Education. Kami sayang Mama...

our babies

Kittens..our "CUTE LITTLE KITTENS"
nama alum ada lagi since dorang baru jua hidup di dunia ni kan 3 weeks.. tapi gemuk ahh...cute aa..





yang ni haha..
kawanmu...ia minta lapas sal rindukan ko haha...

I'm Sorry...

Di malam, my sis asked me to bangunkan ia pukul 2 pagi, then me cakap okay.
me dah set alarm tu kul 2...
so, masa tu kul 12lalu dah (midnight) iatah aku ngantuk, i dont intend pun kan tidor awal, plan kan tidor kul2, kali tetidor lah ku.. kan perform subuh prayer pun nda lagi tbangun...
my sis HAVING EXAM ni karang kul8 a, she haven't revise most of C.Science.
iatah tadi kul7lalu, my sis tbangun yang hairannya, aku pun ikut tbangan ah. yata ia marah...
guilty pulang ku...



Sorry Meng ahh...
Wish you luck on your exam...
Tawakal saja... ;c

Sorry...

xoxo,
your sister.

Rimas - The Fabalous Cats

honestly, I still love you... It's hard to erase you, to isolate you away from my heart,,from my soul...

aku inda tau...this song - RIMAS ni...abang suka from the day i left you.
i didn't know ia banyak makna untuk abang...
you don't even know aku suffer from the day i left you.

Lari, lari, lari
Aku lari tingalkan semua ini
Untuk mencari, cari, cari
Ketenangan diri

Pergi, pergi, pergi
Engkau pergi dari hidupku ini
Ku tak mahu, mahu
Engkau hadir dalam diri ini

Keluhan hatiku tak siapa yang tahu
Ku simpan semua sebak di dada
Biar ku yang terluka
Pernahkah kau mengerti caraku memujukmu
Pernahkah kau hargai caraku mencintaimu

Lafaskan kata dari bibir
Adakahnya dari hati
Mungkin kau tak fahami maksudnya yang tersembunyi
Titisan air mata dari pipi ke bumi
Pernahkah kau peduli betapa sedih diriku ini

(Korus)
Mengapa
Aku yang terluka
Aku yang merana
Aku yang menahan sisa baki cinta ini
Engkau yang meminta
Aku yang sengsara
Rimas, rimas aku rimas

Rap
Tidak pesona kecundang
Istana jiwa ku goyang
Roboh dan tumbang
Sawan ku lantang
Tidak berpantang
Letupnya siang-siang
Bukannya alang-kepalang datangnya perang
Dan bawa ku ke jurang
Pulanglah sayang janji ku tatang
Ku hapuskan dalang
Dalangnya sayang
Sayangnya hilang
Hilanglah garang
Garang ku Terbang melayang
Terbongkang ku terbangkau terhoyong-hayang
Tak pandang belakang
Terkangkang kira ku tak diundang ku rapuh
Semua tak bertiang janji ku kini kan berulang

(Ulang korus)

Lari lari aku
Lari tinggalkan
Tinggalkan semua ini
Untuk mencari
Untuk mencari ketenangan
Aku pergi tinggalkan
Tinggalkan kau sendiri
Ku pergi, kini ku pergi
Tinggalkanmu

(Ulang korus 3x)

selama ni aku inda tau, you hate me that much.
abang bnr2 hates me..
Oh Allah...

Thanks for everything Abang.
16-08-2007 - kesedihan & kegembiraan

I'm BACK...so as this blog!!! BLOG'S ACTIVATE!!

for how many months aku inda update my blog ni...
august..september..october..and now is november...
wooww!!3months..haha
macam lama berarbis..if ditinggalkan ni,gerenti behabuk haha.

well, actually i want to close this blog but it wouldnt happen since most of my friends, tanya-tanya 'ko ada blog?' so, apa salahnya kan di hidupkan kembali my blog ni..huhu

and today is 06th November 2008.
today..nothing much interesting happen..
i sat for my o level exam tadi, both papers.. paper 1 and paper 2.
payah eehhh..i completely lost my mind when description essay ku jadikan narrative..
inda bangang ka tu..
sakit kepala hamba ;c

okay, here is my present 'ME' makin lampuh sudah..menjadi wah lamak ku asuh ahh haha

um, apa lagi ahh..
ani saja dulu lahh daa~~

wish me luck. .

*sorry for the absence of my 'new-update' life stories (that is last few days), i was busy revising*

today,bloody monday!!
03:30AM.

Ani i'm resting. Rehatkan minda after having a short note-taking on sociological perspectives & socialisation. Tired babe..
InsyaAllah i'll pass my sociology. I didn't really workhard but my expectation to get atleast C is high. Haha. Will i pass and dapat C??Haha. Mudahan jua lah..E pun syukurtah huhu.

Karang,8.00am-9.30am is my Sociology final examination. It will be held arah Student Council Room.
Ya Allah, please make me calm as calm as the clam. Haha.
i'll prove to you Sir that i'll never get 'U' for this Sociology. So sad,i get 'U' for last assesment on Geography. Huhuh='(

okay, the bell rings tadi sudah.Got to go.WISH ME LUCK!!

Outta here..
i love you :)

Persiapan

Today Sunday,17th Aug'08 (11.35pm)

okay..Hari ni was a hectic day for me. Dari tengahari until pukul11 tadi aku jalan, tengahari-petang i went for a window shopping with my sister & tunang (abg ami) then malam jalan with my sisters and my mum,shopping..

Shopping List:-
- curtain for my sis's vogue wedding
- kain for my sis's best ever wedding to-be. (mine is $15/mtr. Mahal jua tu. Free lining)
- kain for raya. Warna grey. Not my pilihan. My mum's. Okay lah. Lawa. Bagi 4 bintang saja hehe. (kain nya $7.25/mtr,lining 4.50/mtr and kain lagi $3+/mtr)
- Johnsons Baby Milk Bath *aku punya (Hua Ho:$5.60)

total semua: u guys kira saja lah;p

iatah semua tu sponsored by my sister's Hong Kong CREDIT CARD. F it was cash,wow!! Tebal tu wallet. Hehe

tadi i was looking for kain warna orange..Ada lawa berabis..But tadi aku inda bawa my money..Hampa lah ku. And the price is murah jua wah, $11.50 kali..Nanti check lagi eh..

Ohh yah, today Gbel marah aku. I don't know kenapa. Asal saja mentioning my ex's ia marah2. Hey we're friends wah. Kenapa pulang kan marah2 ni. Ee..Baru jua kawan sudah tia kan kongkong. Hate it.. U..Jangan marah-marah bah,kenapa kan ni ee..

Bah bah,gtg. Kan sleep awal.

xoxo baby..

Makin Hari Makin Mengancam (hard to forget you)

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI NISFU SYAABAN 2008

Today, Saturday 16.08.08(11:06pm)

well tadi pagi starts with bangun pukul 4:13 (janji arah mama kul 4 bangun haha) sekali kami bersahur and sembahyang di masjid..
di sekolah, tadi awal datang hehe. bagus juga tu if hari-hari awal datang, elaun pun inda di potong. (yeahh!!) okay, tengahari tu terasa lah lapar..its lunch time kan tapi tahan saja. berkat bersabar akhirnya sampai ke ptg aku relax saja hehe. pretending inda lapar lah. pura-pura kuat walaupun bibir ni kering sudah. kan minta air tapi inda apa, sabar saja hehe
sekali semasa di masjid, I had a lot of fun. ciuk lah baca yaasin 3 kali..at least gugur jua dosa-doas lalu sikit..Alhamdulillah jua..

OKAY, AND YEAH..IMAM nya atu so handsome.. i like him pakai his baju kerja. if he is mine, i mean my brother kah apakah yang penting rapat, i would have hug him haha. yea, he's sweet..adorable..charming.. (only if ia pakai that jubah) before ni aku berabisly inda minat imam.. kenapa? entah, i just simply rejected the idea of loving or liking someone yang entitled to be IMAM. After I met him, pendirian ni berubah haha. dorang pun manusia biasa jua and made mistakes (sengaja & tidak sengaja)
iatah tadi he smiled at me and i was so cair.. oh no!! am I in love or something? its hard to think about it though pasal at the same time, asal thinking of Imam ni, my Suhaidi's face will appear.. Oh Gosh..

iatah, so I made my decision.. I'll try to forget him (kalau buleh both) tapi kan.. eyy makin hari makin mengancam wah si Imam tu..eee..don't smile at me catu lagi..don't ever text me lagi..don't cakap dingdong lagi,,don't invite me to liat movies with you lagi...don't ever cakap something romantic lagi..it's hard to forget u bah mam,,tapi inda apa..i don't mind..i love challenges..see sejauh mana i can let my feelings control my mind..

AIYAA...
hehehe =D chow chow

I Want You

Today, Thursday 14.08.08 (23:08)

i usually update my blog aher.Well i kinda treat my blog macam my diary. Bukannya ada orang liat pun.Its just me.

Hari ni aku qada puasa. Ngaleh jua eh inda minum&makan a.Hehe. Lemah seluruh badan. Hee. Um,tadi dskulah aku tdor..(Masa lunch lah bukan masa belajar) tired & sleepy berabis wahh..

Petangnya i spend my time surfing internet. Visiting blog-bruneians yang pakar in photography. Handal-handal wah dorang. I wish i could be one of them though i know its payah. Hehe. We'll see cana nanti.

Emm,tadi ke masjid..So macam biasa lah..And yang duty tadi was imam Hj Zainul. And ada kawanku sana. Sakit hatiku ah if liat ia & he act macam nada. So,aku apa lagi..Buat macam nada jua lah. As if kami inda kenal..I don't know why..Sasak ku..(i'm sorry)

tadi abang text aku and kami cerita-cerita about life kami. And so,since this saturday,16.08 (both of us should celebrate our 1year anniversary tapi we're putus udah) iatah aku pun cakap pasal ani lah..Its frustrating tapi i have to say sorry..I told him to wait for me until the time is right. I still love him..Aku kan balik arahnya but will he wait for me??Masa aku cakap pasal ani ia diam saja & try to elak. Aku inda tau apa ia mau. Abang inda pernah gtau wah. Semua abang simpan='(
if u sudah found someone abang, please tell her apa yang abang rasa. Jangan abang simpan. Orang indakan tau abang kalau abang inda share. I want to know more about you tapi you made us as a magnet. I'm the south pole and you mau jua jadi south pole. How can we continue this relationship if you never tell..Never gtau apa yang abang rasa..Sakit abang,syg liat abg catu..:'(

<<..i love you..>>

My My My..

Today, 13th Aug'08 pukul 1157pm

i'm so tired..Dehydrated & frustrated..
Badanku semua sakit-sakit..='(
um,well hari ni nothing exciting's happen.Macam biasa saja.hari-hari yang ku lalui is partially boring (most of the time,anyway).

My wishes..Um aku mau kurus! Hahah. Nada wah, aku mau fit saja..Sehat..Physically & mentally.
Aku mau study overseas,ambil my degree & master sana. InsyaAllah..If my grades statisfies the government scholarship.
And,i want to be the best! The best of Me! My present efforts inda berapa..I want more tapi payah.Commitments ku banyak.I'm tired oledi.
Last but not least, get married lah wei..After aku dapat my carrier & stable financial position. (target age:26,27 or 28) hehehe


oh yah, dimalam awang gnul text aku. Very suprising. Its not him yang ku tunggu (i'm tired waiting him sudah) tapi he text me. Pasal ia pelupa so aku ceta2 saja apa ku mau. Gpun he really don't bother apa ku ckp. He's annoying. He want people care about him but he never even care about other people. I really hate people macam ia but what can i do, he's my friend & i have to treat him as a friend jua though i know i'm nothing (worthless) to him. And he said that, 'inda lagi lama ur birthday' and i was like "whatever". i thought ia lupa sudah then ia ckp 'manada lupa. Tengah fikir present pulang ni' duhh..Manasajatah gnul..Malas lagi ku,i may sound menyamal tapi inda lah..Its just aku inda mau mengharap. Acting like you're okay with your life tapi sebenarnya inda. Hey,,stop fooling urself wah..

i'm sorry. i really can't take it anymore..
=') g0od luck with ur life

OMG!

Sorry, banyak error arah spelling & grammar.
i don't check it before posting..Hehe
my bad..

Jerawat di pipi

Hari ini 11.08.08 (Isnin)
06.25am

obviously,people hates monday morning.Aku pun jua..But today,aku awal bangun though aku kelat sembahyang subuh. (krg qada) huhu.And yah,masa cuci muka aku liat cermin, eyy..Masih ada jerawat di pipi ani..I don't mind pulang of having this jerawat since ia kecil saja sizenya haha

cakap pasal jerawat ni,i have a friend..ia cakap if ada tumbuh jerawat di pipi ertinya ada orang rindu. Hey,siapa rindu aku ah??Hehe tapi bnrlah and aku tau siapa orangnya.. Jeng jeng..Huhu

i know its been a while kami inda jumpa..Macam entah ah..Jaranglah sudah kan jumpa..I do miss him jua walaupun aku a bit bother,why did he lie..I'm hoping he'll tell me the answer soon..(very soon)

missing him doesn't mean aku lupa Suhaidi.He owns my heart..And i'll never forget him. Masa tu i told mama that Suhaidi kursus SPSS (i don't mention his name though) and mama macam reluctant saja. Mama cakap,"biar tia jodohnya orang kerja Setia jua" terdiam jua ku tu..='( bah bah,kalau catu baiktah ku kerja SETIA jua heheh nada wah..I'll try to achieve my dreams!

i gtg now,aher sudah..Skulah lagi ni..Huhu

mimpi

i don't have any catatan yesterday pasal aku busy..And my brother accident masa he's otw to fetch me up from school.Luckily he's okay..Alhamdulillah..Kereta saja..And duit..4K wah kan dkeluarkan untuk ngusai..Gxla..

Emm..Dimalam aku mimpi..Well,i don't understand actually mimpiku tu..Aku mimpi i was looking for my friend,kan bawa ia jalan sekali when aku krumahnya..Nada orang..Aku masuk lagi biliknya..Inda btantu..Biliknya tu hancur,semua bajunya nada..Hancur biliknya as if he was in a rush kan tinggalkan rumahnya.Then,arah meja aku nampak keychain yang ku bagi ampai2 dsana..Bkn tercicir tu caranya ampai2 a tapi sengaja dtinggalkan..I was sad dalam mimpi atu.. :(

hmm..Kenapa mimpi catu a?Is it true yang ia kan tinggalkan aku?Why?..Its not that kami bercinta.We're just a friend..When he & his girlfriend okay sdh,he started to forget me.. So sad..

apa erti CINTA?

Pukul 11.33pm (o5.o8.o8)
today..Malam ni i spent my time cerita2 with my ex..He asked me 'apa erti CINTA?' ey, i was blank..Mana ku tau tu..i've never talked about love ever since we broke up.Pernah pulang tapi i've never really expressed my opinions on it.Aku dengar pendapat orang saja,mostly kawan-kawanku.And so,aku jawap..'cinta perlukan pengorbanan' & 'dalam menunggu cinta,masa hanyalah waktu' semua jawapanku sama dgn jawapanku dulu masa before kami putus..

Then,aku pun tanya ia lah..Pendapatnya apa..Ia cakap perasaan cinta ni datang dari hati bukan dari mulut seseorang. (i agree with that) lagi ia cakap, cinta perlu persefahaman..Katanya its normal if kelaie-kelaie pasal kelaie tu menunjukkan tani sayang pasangan tani.Cemburu tandanya sayang..Yea, ani pun aku setuju..

Aku pun ada rasa jeleous jua if ku missed call ia but his number is busy..Walaupun hakikatnya kami 6bulan sudah putus..Oh help,,i really can't forget him..And tadi,ia salah text wah..Tiba-tiba saja hatiku sakit..Emm..

Aku akui,aku lemah in expressing the real me..What i want..Dari damit sudah aku dididik not to burden other's life..Bahagiakan orang lain dulu before bahagiakan diri tani..Its not that mama directly taught me catu but it is how i interprete my situation msa tu inside me (brain+heart)
i tried to express it tapi aku inda pandai..
Sakit hati ku,kalau disimpan sakit berabis..
Kadang-kadang aku salahkan mama.But i know i was wrong. It's me yang salah. Bukan mama..

Selama 17tahun 10bulan aku bernafas,puas sudah ku mengalah..Untuk orang yang ku sayang,aku sanggup mengalah.Kami putus bukan sebab kerelaan kami (aku puas menangis) tapi bukan jua terpaksa..Aku yang buat keputusan ani :) aku takut,aku kan menyusahkan ia..Aku sayang ia..Aku inda mau sakiti hatinya..Aku inda tau cna kn luahkn perasaan ini..

Maafkan aku..

will he wait for me??

Today is Tuesday,o5.o8.o8..Ani break,pukul0956..And Geography is next..

Um..Dmalam my ex text aku :) well,he said that ia kursus SPSS sane.2weeks sudah..SPSS ni Setia Protective Security Services..29th of Aug,ia abis & he'll start to work dsana jua..Nda jua lama kami putus..Banyak sudah berubah.. :)

tapi hatiku inda pernah berubah..And dmalam aku gtau ia,tunggu aku if you kan kawin..And ia cakap, alum trjmpa calon baru & sane ia menunggu seseorang..(aku kah tu??) haha perasan..Hee

i'll wait for you..if tani ada jodoh,jom tani kawin.. :) i'm serious..But will you wait for me,abang?..

Woops,gtg..My lecturer is coming..

'jgn abaikan urg yg myanyangi tani,pyh kn mcri urg yg bnr2 cyg tane' (abang,o4.o8)

please stay with me forever!

i pick this topic because..i found that it is irrelevant..Kalau tani minta pun urang tu untuk stay with tani forever,inda jua dapat tu..'forever' apa??Manada 'forever'..I will always love you 'forever' apa tu?Manada tu..Cakap ganya tu..:)

ouch..Sakit ta jua heart ku ni..Oh yah,aku otw sekulah..And today aku akhir..My mum marah2..My bro pun marah2..Aku pun tadi marah jua haha.(Sorry Ma..) Huhh..Payah you know.. :) atu lah, being single ani payah..Bukan ku inda pernah cuba kan mencintai seseorang lagi,kesian yang batah sudah tunggu aku..Tapi entah..Payah ku kan buang cinta lamaku tu..Aku pernah minta ia stay with aku walaupun kami inda lagi together tapi ia inda mau..='( aku yang salah..
i'm sorry..i'm sorry..i'm sorry..='(

pantai lagi buleh berubah..Apa lagi tani,manusia ani kan..Eh tadi aku liat mukaku in the mirror..Wahh!!Gemuk eh heheh..Makin frust makin gemuk ta pulang huhu..

Lets go back to our topic 'please stay with me forever' iatah ni for those yang baca my blog,keep on reading..Prove it to me yang 'forever' ni will remain 'forever'

today,04.08.08..Me and my ex should be four years tapi ye lah,nada jodoh..:) takecare guys..

dia kawanku

Today..Hmm..Mcm biasa jua..My world gets tougher and tougher..Tadi aku jalan with kaka & abg ami..Liat2 brg pengantin.Huhh ckp pasal pengantin ani teringat pulangku arahnya..Heyy..Cna usulnya a if ia jadi raja sehari a?Must b handsome though ia tua sikit lah haha..

Aku pernah jua imagine ia kawin..Um pakai baju pengantin biru..And aku liat ia arah kem,aku ketawakan ia..Haha sory lenx!! Seriously, aku inda pernah imagine aku kawin sama ia.. i was like mcm having a nightmare if TERimagine abt that..Beristighfar ku banyak2..:) huhu

since he is my first kawan yang tua and pakar 'ugama' so i respect him more dari my other friends. I gve my priority arahnya.Tapi ulahnya sama saja..Nada pun aku nampak mature nya..Maybe ia anggap aku kanak2 kali iatah he act kanak2 jua..Well,he's cute btw..Manja mcm baby..Suka minta attention.. (ai..it sounds as if i like him..Hee..)

awu..Aku suka..tapi sebagai 'kawan' saja.Hatiku msh dimiliki oleh Tuan.1405..I do miss him tapi i don't know..I need time:'( um,kawanku ni baik..Kawan2ku bnyak baik..Alhamdulillah,aku dikurniakan banyak kawan yang baik walaupun sebelum ni aku pernah berkawan dgn musuh bawah selimut.Sakit wah kena tikam dari belakang..Sampai ani, aku masih lagi payah kan trust urang..Especially kawan yang baik :(

lets wrap this up, kawanku..Selamat Melayari Bahtera Alam Baru..Semoga bahagia geng!!Hehehe and also to my beloved sister+her fiancéé, bahagia selalu.Kami tunggu c Naufal..=D hehe

sedikit untukku dihatimu

i'm here again..Haha
yeah,today is Sunday.And aku tadi bangun pukul 10:10 heheh =)

aku adalah pencari cinta.Terkial-kial mencari cinta.Aku tau cinta yang ku cari ada padanya.Nya yang ku cari is 'unknown'
bukan mudah mencari jodoh.Though Dr.Fadilah Kamsah quoted that jodoh tani berhampiran dgn tani & we have to work hard to reveal our jodoh ani.

Aku cuma ingin tau, siapa jodohku..Siapa tempatku menyerahkan cintaku..Adakah dia juga mencari aku??='( adakah tersimpan sedikit tempat dihatinya untukku?..

Sakit my heart whenever i think of you. 'you' yang bakal menyinari hidupku..
Datanglah..Datanglah..Datanglah..
Simpanlah sedikit untukku dihatimu..

Perjalanan yang menyeramkan

Well,siapa inda seram if merantau dunia sorang-sorang?Joker arah batman saja kali tu hehe.Joker jadi catu pasal ia dulu baik..
Okay,now..'perjalanan yang menyeramkan'! aku sedang melaluinya sekarang besides ani aku otw skulah & AKHIR sudah..So,its rely seram..Ambl late slip lagi ni huhu='(

menerokai dunia baru mana siuk if sorang-sorang. Um,bnr pulang aku lagi suka merantau dunia sorang-sorang tapi apa yang tani dapat atu mau jua dshare kan..:) iatah being single is payah sebenarnya..Bukan saja sunyi tapi banyak dugaan yang inda dapat dtanggung sorang. Kerana itulah, Allah menciptakan jodoh tani. Tapi untuk menemui jodoh tani, tani terpaksa melalui perjalanan yang menyeramkan dulu..If kitani minta dangani Allah,insyaAllah tani selamat..

Cinta akan datang if dicari..Tapi berusaha lah bnar2.Kenapa?Pasal if tani berusaha bnar2,tani kan merasa bahagia atu lama..Hargai orang yang menyayangi kita..
Akhir kata dari saya, jangan pandang belakang apabila menjalani perjalanan yang menyeramkan..

SEPI

Kami liat wayang sama-sama..Sebenarnya,aku mau liat sorang-sorang tapi pasal aku dah janji arahnya tani liat wayang nanti when i'm free so aku pun bawa ia lah..:) its not that aku terpaksa, aku pun suka if he's with me..

'sepi' sama jua mcm aku..sepi..Sepi tanpa cinta..Sepi tanpa teman bicara..Sepi tanpa belaian & gurauan manja..Pasal atu aku beria-ia kan meliat cerita sepi..

Honestly,aku tahan supaya inda cry in front of him tapi i can't..Very touching wah ceritanya especially part si pierre andre..:) masa tu aku cry banar-banar..

Yatah masa aku cry, satu titis airmataku tumpah arah lengannya..And his heart beats fast & aku dapat rasa yang ia happy..Happynya lain wah..

masa atupun ia usapkan airmataku..I know ia suka thats why aku biarkan..And masa ku sibuk-sibuk lap airmataku,he was looking at me with his charming smile..Senyumnya lain and aku suka senyumannya masa tu..Sebenarnya i really wanted to hug him and gtau aku inda dpt lupakan my ex..Tapi kami kawan saja..So,apa yang ku mampu buat..Bagi senyum saja..

Masa balik,aku salam ia which makes him a bit surprise..And yeah,aku pun jua.Pasal aku tarus-tarus wah..I dnt knw why..So aku pun say sorry lah..And ia ckp its okay,next time buat catu lagi..Hehe

um,since after meliat sepi kami alum lagi jumpa..and i know,he missed me..Aku pun jua..Hehe.

Bilik Putih

Pernahkah kamu membayangkan diri kamu berada di bilik putih?
Mempunyai perasaan yang bercelaru?
Memutuskan satu keputusan yang sukar?

Well, aku pernah..Membayangkan aku berada di bilik putih..Aku melihat sekeliling semuanya putih..Dan fikiran berlegar-legar,perasaan bercelaru..Dalam situasi teruk ini,aku mengimbangi keputusan :)

lama juga aku membuat keputusan dan akhirnya, aku sedar..aku mencintainya bukan kerana 'cinta' tapi menginginkan cinta yang terbina bersama Suhaidi dahulu tetap utuh.Aku menginginkan cahaya yang akan menyinari cintaku..Yang akan menghuni cintaku..Agar cintaku tidak kekeringan,tidak dimamah anai-anai..

Dia hanyalah teman.Tempatku bersandar tatkala ku kelemahan dan kesunyian..Dia juga mempunyai sejarah hidup sendiri. Tapi,masa ku gtau ia.."you are my ex boyfriend's reflection" ia marah arahku and aku tau ia frust..ia ckp "walaupun you bayangkan me ani ur ex tapi i'm happy. Happy to be with you."
aku dalam dilema..Tolonglah hambaMu ini,ya Allah..

SURATAN atau KEBETULAN??

Kalau tani memakai warna baju yang sama without planning..Adakah itu satu kebetulan atau petunjuk dari Allah?:)

as i've told earlier..Kami dipertemukan di rumah Allah & kami selalu memakai warna baju yang sama..Masa atu bulan Ramadhan..Bulan yg suci ani tah kami selalu berjumpa..Pada mulanya,kelibat dirinya langsung tidak ku peduli since my sister menaruh minat arahnya..So,aku pun malas ingau lah..

But then,hatiku tertarik untuk memerhatikannya & menyelami budi pekertinya.Kami selalu memakai warna baju yang sama mcm bejanji..Hehe. Aku ada jua pernah TEST my mind..Aku plan pakai orange that night..Sekali ia pun pakai orange jua. I was like "uh-oh..Kenapa sama ani.." and masa aku meliat ia, ia pun meliat aku. I can feel that kami sama2 terkejut!! Kami dua saja pakai orange wah..Hehh..

And ada lagi, masa arah my brother's bestfriend nikah+sanding, i wear baju kurung hitam and ia pun pakai HITAM jua!! Eyy..Apa nii..

Ada lagi..Kami pakai pink..Putih..Biru..Semuanya kami inda rancang..Adakah ini suratan or kebetulan saja??

tapi semuanya cerita dulu lah..If sekarang, kami kan berjanji pakai baju warna apa..Hehe..
And if this relationship still going on, this Raya kami plan pkai wrna orange. I dnt knw why'd he choose that colour.. i wonder why.. :)

Detik Bersama

Detik Bersama - V.E

bait-bait lagu ini mengingatkanku kepadanya..Detik yang selalu ku tunggu-tunggu. Well, life is tough. Semakin ditunggu, semakin jauhlah harapan..

"biarkan aku bersamamu,
biarkan aku terlena dalam dakapanmu"
lawa liriknya ani..=) seriously, i did tdor when he hug me..i feel safe when i'm with him..he gave me the warmth that i've looking for..
Our relation is not normal:'( i know..And we both know..But we're needing each other..

tapi..Kami jauh berbeza..he's mature and akan berkahwin & aku masih lagi mencari-cari kehidupanku.Kami diperkenalkan di rumah Allah..Inda tau lah,atu petunjuk or apa..Yang memeranjatkan..Setiap kali berjumpa,kami akan memakai warna pakaian yang sama..How cute is that..=)

Menanti sinar yang seakan menghampiri

Hari ini..Jumaat (01 Ogos 2008)
cuti awam..
dan aku hanya di rumah.
hatiku berdetak-detak sedari semalam
sudah dua kali aku bermimpikan perkara yang serupa..
well, basically inda sama banar pulang tapi the 'theme' is the same.
aku bermimpi dia akan melangsungkan perkahwinannya..
dalam mimpi ku atu lain pulang..ia gtau ia kan kawin tapi wajahnya seakan menyembunyikan sesuatu..huhh
and tadi i did tell him, ia cakap insyaAlla tahun dpn if ada jodoh=)
and ada lagi textnya which amazed me..
"so you are far away from me lah, tanya aje"
i was like..WHAT??i don't understand..
entah lahh...='( i don't knw what to do..
sinarku adakah ia menghampiri atau seakan menjauh pergi dariku
bersama angin yang sejuk dan suram..meninggalkan aku kedinginan..

"I Love Him Since The Day He Left"

Terlalu sukar kiranya untuk ku meluahkan perasaan. Memendamkan juga aku merasa serba salah dan rimas rasanya. Mungkin aku terlalu muda untuk memiliki cinta. Cita-citaku adalah prioriti utamaku. Usiaku baru berganjak 18 tahun dan sebelum ini ada juga aku menjalinkan percintaan bersama beberapa orang teman, but hey.. we're young! aren't we suppose to have fun? cinta cintun ku pada ketika itu hanyalah cinta monyet. hehe.. cali jua ahh..
And here's the thing... Aku mula merasakan cinta yang mengelirukan.. BAHAYA!! This guy... aku jatuh cinta padanya sejak...Sejak bila ahh? was it after we met or apa ah?..hmm... itulah,..cinta datang tanpa di undang & untuk merelakannya pergi terlalu payah..!!

-FLASH BACK-
kami first jumpa..di Mall, and at that time, he was very warm.. friendly berabis padahal kami baru first jumpa..well, before ani pernah jumpa pulang but we haven't talk to each other..
kami cakap-cakap pasal kawan, pasal kerjaya (he's working and aku masih study) and masa ia ceta pasal kawan, hmm.. i think start ani kali i fell in love with him but i don't know..maybe it's because i'm being sympathic... ia nangis masa becerita pasal kawannya.. so sweet.. and aku pun inda sanggup liat matanya.. karang takut jatuh cinta lagi.. he'll marry soon bahh..

-NOW-
and masa ani..kami biasa saja..though we did confesing our love with each other but we both knew that it's better for us just being friends :) banar pulang, this heart beats fast and sakit when cakap catu but kami..ditakdirkan untuk bekawan saja. we're both are lonely.. honestly, after he left, i started to love him more..huhu

Dia Adalah Hanie

Blog ini dicipta sempena kemenanganku dalam mencipta 'website sociology' untuk kolej ku. Mulai hari ini dan seterusnya aku ingin membuat nukilanku menerusi blog ini. Blog ini diberi nama 'Dia Adalah Hanie'. Hanie - ku ambil dari namaku. Hanie